I knew I had an important mission because my intuition was half-developed. My most developed psychological function was based on thoughts. I belonged to the introverted psychological type based on thoughts, a psychological type that rarely characterizes the personality of a woman.
I used to believe that our thoughts are more important than anything else. I was surprised when I discovered that our feelings, sensations, and intuition are as important as our thoughts. However, I could understand this truth only after following dream therapy based on Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation.
I felt I needed psychological help when I was a young mother, but I had to be with my baby all the time. I could not go anywhere alone. Nobody could take care of my baby for me. My mother, my husband, and my brother-in-law worked all day.
My mother-in-law had died when I was pregnant, and my father-in-law was too old to take care of a baby. My young cousin Efi had died in an accident three days before my mother-in-law had died from a stroke, in the same week of June of 1984, when I was in the sixth month of my pregnancy. Facing death was more than unbearable. And two deaths in the same week!
I remembered that when I was a teen the pope had died, and in a few days his successor died too. The first time one of my classmates called me early in the morning, because we studied in a Catholic school with Silesian nuns, and since the pope had died, we did not have school.
The next time, the same classmate called me again. She knew all news early in the morning because her family used to listen to the radio. When she called me again telling me that the pope had died again I believed that it was a joke. I told her that I was late for school again. She questioned, telling me that it was true. We did not have school again, because of the pope's death.
I somehow understood that the coincidence of two deaths in my family (which happened with the difference of a few days) had an important meaning, the same way that the pope's death twice in a short period of time clearly meant that God exists and He must decide who will be the pope.
When I was a teen I was an atheist because I had suffered from a tragic car accident and I could not forgive Marina's death. She was next to me in the car. I stopped believing in God's existence because He did not protect her.
When my cousin Efi had died I had already understood that I was too ignorant to be able to understand God's decisions. I had acknowledged the possibility of God's existence again a few days before getting married (when I was 22-years-old, in January of 1983) after passing through six years of atheism. Thus, when Efi had died I did not have the same aggressive and revolted reaction I had when I was a teen.
I understood that God was showing me something with these two deaths in my family, but I could not understand their meaning. I could only understand that despite God was giving me a sign, to make me believe in His existence.
I did not have faith. I simply believed that despite God existed, but this matter had no importance for me.
I was frequently depressed, angry, and afraid of the future. I had to find a solution, especially because I was responsible for my son's life, including being responsible for my own life. This was a serious obligation I did not feel I could handle.
I had many vivid dreams. I remembered my interest for their meaning. I had cared about the meaning of dreams for the first time when was ready to travel to the USA and live with my uncle's family, while I would study English as a second language. A few days before leaving Brazil, my country, my mother and I had a nightmare the same night, which was about her death.
When I was in California (in 1979, when I was 18-years-old) I had many viable dreams that made me look for their meaning. I borrowed Sigmund Freud's book about the meaning of dreams from Pacific Beach's library, excited because I had found it. My enthusiasm disappeared when I verified that his method could not be applied to all types of dreams. Freud's method was based on his monotonous ideas.
I abandoned this matter because I had many other things to do. I remembered the meaning of dreams again only in 1984 when I was a young mother and I understood that I needed psychotherapy.
I made an arduous research looking for the real meaning of dreams by studying the methods of many psychologists. I concluded that only Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation was the right one, and I started following only his method, and writing down all my dreams in a dream journal. I used to write a few dreams when they were impressing, but after reading Jung's books I understood that all dreams were important; not only the most viable ones.
This was the beginning of my long research. I only had the intention to find a solution for my own psychological problems, but God had the intention to make me:
* Become a dream expert
* Continue Carl Jung's research
* Cure many people through dream therapy for two decades before publishing my books
* Simplify the complicated, time consuming and obscure method of dream interpretation discovered by Carl Jung
* Prove God's existence to the atheistic and materialistic world
* Prove to the world that we must obey God's guidance in dreams in order to eliminate our satanic anti-conscience, which generates mental illnesses within our conscience
The anti-conscience is our wild, absurd, and evil conscience. It occupations the largest part of our brain and psyche. It is an idiotic and primitive conscience that must be transformed through consciousness. This happens when our human conscience understands the meaning of our actions.
We acquire consciousness as we translate the meaning of our dreams and we understand our mistakes. By following the divine guidance in dreams we stop making mistakes, and we learn how to be wise and sensitive human beings.
In other words, we stop being violent demons controlled by our anti-conscience, which has a distorted nature because it could not learn how to find peace. The anti-conscience is self-destructive and calms down with terror. We must eliminate our dangerous anti-consciousness through consciousness before it is too late.
Thanks to Carl Jung's method of dream interpretation I could become a psychiatrist and a psychologist myself because the unconscious mind that produces our dreams works like a doctor and teacher. I was an excellent student and patient because I saw that I had no alternative. I could see the content of the unknown region of the human psyche reflected in dreams. I was surprised with all the knowledge I found, and at the same time, I was shocked with the absurdity existential in the human brain.
I also had to fight the absurdity of my anti-conscience into practice by offering resistance to its attacks and never following its absurd thoughts. I was silently praying all the time and remembering that I was fighting craziness. I had to fight the unbearable symptoms of craziness during eight months, in 1989, when I was 28-years-old, and I had discovered the existence of the anti-conscience.
I had to bear dizziness, panic attacks, blackouts, and hallucinations without false or losing my mind, and while I was normally working in a store in Athens, with my mother, my aunt, and two girls. Everyone knew that I had psychological problems, but they could not imagine that I was fighting the unbearable symptoms generated by the anti-conscience like a hero.
I could discover the satanic origin of the human conscience, and the sanctity of the unconscious mind that produces our dreams, which Carl Jung could not perceive, because I could recognize the unconscious goodness. Jung had not noticed the unconscious wisdom, but he could not understand the meaning of sanctity and fall down in his knees. I could understand the meaning of sanctity because I had studied in a Catholic school, and I was a literature writer who used to write inspired by the unconscious mind that gives us artistic talents, including producing our dreams.
God gives us everything He can to help us eliminate our satanic anti-conscience and become really human.
I understand that our feelings are more important than anything else in life, and not our thoughts, as I used to believe when I was a teen and a young adult. Since we have to eliminate our evil side, goodness, compassion, and forgiveness are more important than thoughts. Love and generosity are more important than dangerous and cruel thoughts without feelings.