Browsing: Mind Body Spirit

The Art of Care or, Lack Thereof

This article has been a long time coming.

As a professional in the sales and service of all kinds of widgets during my career, I can tell you that success is directly related to how well you cultivate relationships.

For years I've been on the brink of offering my extensive CRM experience to doctor's offices, hospitals and other medical clinics. I guess instead of Customer Relationship Management, we'd call it PRM: Patient Relationship Management. As a new friend, Gail, told me recently -my dissatisfaction with these institutions is because the art of care is not effectively practiced.

I happily knowing having a few doctors, nurses and medical center personnel who are sterling examples of the best this profession has to offer. With them I get poked, prodded, squeezed, shot, invaded by other means, and all the while I feel so grateful for their bedside manner that in the end, the most I have to say is “thank you.”

This article is about the others. This article is for those who leave messages on an individual's answering machine “your test results came back and you have AIDS.” Or who call you mid-week to say the results of a recent Pap smear show that all is normal but on Friday of the same week they call to report an abnormality and advise you to see your gynecologist immediately. As though Friday's are like any other day of the week and doctors are just sitting around waiting for your urgent appointment need.

In fact, the maxim “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” could not be more fitting than when trying to navigate the sea of ​​medical terminology and appearance indifference to common courty. Physician's think nothing of having their appointments booked so close between patients that the normal wait time for an appointment is 90 minutes or more. Sure, I can think of nothing I'd rather do with my time than sit in a crowded waiting room with other exotic people wondering which of them is getting to see your doctor before you. Think of this as the waiting room blues. How might we know this? The sign in sheet. Right there for God & everyone to see is who you are, when you arrived, the time of your appointment and which doctor you are visiting. When you arrive on time for a 3:30 appointment and there are 6 other names ahead of you that have not been scratched out, highlighted through, etc., you know you're in for the long haul. So keep on being polite, unassuming, and considerate. You'll wait forever. Raise hell and they want to move you away from the others as swiftly as possible. Squeaky wheel, get it?

I imagine it's a lifesaver for medical professionals to establish a certain detachment from the patients they serve, a certain level of emotional self-preservation lest empathy do them in. But, a little less brusqueness, less clinical efficiency would be beneficial. Exhibiting a little more kindness and consideration for those who can not move as quickly or for those who struggle to answer questions that were previously answered for them by a spouse now gone. They do not need to see the cynical glances between front desk personnel-it is not helpful.

Being a primary caregiver for my Mom the last few years of her life was an eye opening experience for me. My Mom, like many women of her generation, deferred to my Dad for direction, for decisions. Dad no doubt paid all the bills, handled and understood insurance, and assumed responsibility for him & Mom in most matters. When he died in 2008, my Mom was pretty lost. Fortunately, she had 5 daughters who helped take over in areas she was incapable of handling and taught her how to do things she'd previously not known about.

What can be done? Physicians: make sure appointments are scheduled appropriately so an average wait is significantly pared down. Many doctor's offices have a policy that if a patient is a no-show they might be billed for an office visit but do patients have recourse if they are kept waiting for an inordinate amount of time? No. I know for some doctors, it's all about the money but I have to believe that the major got into healthcare because they really want to help others. Personnel at the front desk, why not advise patients if the doctor is running behind? I'm not suggesting that they will be excused to try again another day (inconvenient for all who work or have child or eldercare responsibilities) but at least to show consideration for the patient and help minimize the frustration invariably experienced in this situation. NEVER leave a voice message delivering devastating news. What medical professional believes a patient will benefit from the declaration that there is no hope for them? Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of many wonderful works including Love, Medicine & Miracles explains in Soul Prescription # 2 “I see people who die a few minutes after a doctor tells them there is no hope of a cure. and ï¬ nd joy in provoking the doctor wrong. Something within them is challenged and hopeful. Hope is the divine motivator. ” Why does not every employee in the medical profession understand this?

I received a call last night “reminding” me of an appointment I have next week. The thing is I did not make the appointment. So, I had to find the physician's office number, call them from work and inquire about who might have arranged this. It was scheduled by one or the other of my doctor's offices. Why did not I get a courtesy call giving me a heads up that they want me to see a specialist? Why did I have to make a call to ask what's going on when I am the one involved? Common courtesy, respect, consideration – I do not think this is too much to ask of people with what we place our trust.

Now, I know there are some disgruntled, impolite, inconsiderate – let's face it absolutely wretched individuals, which sole purpose on earth seems to be to make everyone around them as miserable as they are. I know this is a tough crowd. Perhaps interacting with this kind of person has eclipsed the compassion of many of those in the healing profession. Please do not let it. The rest of us need you at your best.

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Ways To Cope With Grief

Every second hurts. There is no reply from the bereavement. Be it your parents, spouse or child (which may be the toughest), grief is one of the most torrid emotions that humans experience. However, the fact still remains that even though you might have lost an important person in your life, coming to terms with the loss, is difficult. The hollow feeling might never really go away but life still goes on. It might stop for a few days, or feel like a jumble of days and nights as you grope through the darkness to find the light again, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

As long as you are alive, you have to pass through the pain and yet emerge a strong person. One of the best ways to deal with grief is to talk about it. The more you enclose the pain and the hurt of losing someone, the more it will hurt. Talking to your siblings, friends and family will help you remember the positive memories, feeling and the joys you shared with the person you lost. We make memories that stay a lifetime and each memory can have some positive of negative aspect. But as they say, time is a great healer. Over time you might remember the fun, good times you had instead of the intense pain that you suffered when the person passed away.

Celebrate life. Do not you think that the person in spirit still loves you? Would he or she be happy to see you sad and unhappy? Some things are beyond our control but that is God's will and at some point everyone has to die. But keep the memory and move on with your life. With hundreds of men, women and children in the hospital fighting deadly diseases, you are lucky to be alive and well. Think of the false person often, say and think about the positivity the person brought into your life and in their memory, stay happy.

Do something. Do not sit around and mope. Although you are depressed and do not want to do anything or fatually mentally and can not cope with the present everyday life, you need to pull yourself together and find a purpose in life again. Volunteer at the hospitals, teach underprivileged children or just spend some time at the church or other religious institutions and help the needy. Help someone in need, aid a fundraiser or attend charity events. Your contribution of time and effort can be uplifting for numerous lives. Plus, you'll have a purpose in life again to do something for someone, which always leaves a good feeling in your life.

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Who Am I? Where Am I Going? Free Your Qi

Want some beautiful reading? Learn about Qi (Chi) – the basis of traditional Chinese medicine – our flow of energy to propel us to true health (not sick care) happiness & prosperity. Our state of wellness, comes from our Qi.

Similarly in other cultures …

The Torah – the basis of Judeo-Christian ethics, teachers us our bodies are a gift on loan to house our souls. We are commanded to take care of our bodies create, peace for our souls & is holy and should be treated as such. The body of a woman houses the body & soul of the baby and spirit houses the entire family.

How do we free the Qi … free ourselves? Well, let's talk about what slows the flow and then how to release the inner peace.

One of our biggest mistakes is we often feel if something is not tangible, touchable, visual than it does not exist. We often are amazed by the behaviors and bizarre intelligence of our furry friends. No, they do not go to school & acquire the same “knowledge” as we do – they work on a very different operating system. We too, have operating systems beyond our reach & understanding. That is the operating system we need to nurture.

Qi literally translated means “breath”. With our full, uninterrupted deep breathing we open the pathway for life's forces to flow within our being. However, with our current lifestyles, our qi is narrowed pathways so to speak, compromising our body's ability to perform physically, cognitively, spiritually & emotionally. The perfect storm for chronic illness.

Yes I am a hard core science geek – for those who question, doubt the plausibility of something so not touchable, remember as scientists we realize there is much we will never answer and understand. So let's use a metaphor here. Think of our blood flow, I think an equal life force to our qi. When our blood flows smoothly, our heart pumps it through the lungs for oxygenation, bringing it back into the chambers of the heart & hopefully with a good strong force, stroke volume, pumps the freshly oxygenated blood through out the body bringing “breath” to all of our organs, muscles, joints …

Now enter the obstacle course that blood flow has to conquer. Fatty deposits, inflammation, narrowed, brittle arms … self inflated threats to the blood flow that if there is no intervention blood clots, heart attacks, strokes, organ damage … the body just can not accept under such duress any more. You know the villains here: physicalactivity, obesity, excess alcohol (which is less than most people think), smoking, stress. And just a btw – NO: smoking and alcohol do NOT reduce stress – they are huge culprits for creating stress – stressed physiology makes a stressed person.

Like our circulatory system, immune system, every organ system, our qi is dependent on clutter free pathways.

Our Qi is the key to unlocking our gates to self discovery, eliminating our personal identity. Our personal identity clearly identifies our belief system about ourselves – who we are and with that conviction we can focus on our go forward position in life: physically, spiritually, cognitively & emotionally.

The problem with most healthy lifestyle programs is they focus on symptoms, not our under beliefs & personal identity. Treating symptoms does not treat the underlying root cause and build a personal belief system to guide you through rough times, wants, – but your personal identity does.

So do not just try to extinguish a habit: quit smoking, weight loss, stress management, getting exercise – go through a proper process of self discovery, definition, identify the physiological rewards – free your qi!

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Mind Over Matter: The Strain of the Weight

The Strain of the Weight

The strain of the weight,

To lift another set

The perceived exertion

Can create false intent.

To lift the weight may require your best,

But if not for the mind

You can lack focus and the mind-muscle zest.

It is important to realize

That a mind-muscle connection does exist,

And once tapped into

Will improve your overall body list.

You can go through the physical motions

And not care one ounce,

But take my word for it

Injury will eventually pounce.

The hardest struggle for most people during exercise is the fact that it never gets easier. I would even argue that it actually gets harder as the body gets fitter. So what could possibly be the answer to making work-outs easier, and still reap the benefits of getting fitter. Brad Schoenfeld (Mind in Muscle, 1998) argues that there is a large mental component associated with exercise and harnessing ones mental acuity that can substantially improve overall results including fitness while decreasing perceived exertion and injury.

The mind has a powerful impact on the muscle and if visualized correctly, one can feel the muscle working through a complete range of motion during exercise performance. Rather then thinking about where you feel a muscular stimulus, it requires you to think about where you are supposed to feel the stimulus. This may seem foreign to many, and its relevance to training may not be apparent immediately. However, until you are able to develop a mental link with your muscle, the effectiveness of your training efforts will be strictly limited.

It is perceived among many aspiring trainees that weight training is the mere action of lifting a weight from point A to point B. Unfortunately, while these individuals may perform an exercise with what appears to be satisfactory technique; they truly fail to adequately stimulate their target muscle (Schoenfeld, 1998). For example, in the lat pull down, it is quite common for a person to feel the majority of stress in his biceps. Since the biceps initiate the movement of the weight during the lift, the arms will needarily receive a good deal of stress during the lift. Here, without ability to visualize your muscles contracting, an individual will be inclined to use his arms, rather than the larger muscles of the upper back to lift the weight.

Obviously, this will diminish the overall effectiveness of the exercise.

To maximally induces muscular stress, you must consciously visualize the muscle being trained and use that muscle effectively to raise and lower the weight. You must be oblivious to your surroundings with all outside distractions purged from your mind. As you perform each repetition, the target muscle must remain under conscious tension, making sure it is the prime mover through the movement (muscle mag, December issue, 2000, p9)

In the example of the lat pull down, your entire focus should be on sculpting your back to muscular perfection. Correspondingly, you must make an effort to pull the weight down with the muscles in your upper back without the assistance of supporting muscles. Continue moving the weight in this fashion and, when you reach the bottom phase of the movement, squeeze your shoulder blades together, feeling a distinct contract in latissimus dorsi (back).

As you let the weight ascend upwards, your back muscles should resist the gravitational force of the weight. It is all-too-common for a person only to concentrate on the positive (concentric) portion of a movement and mindlessly let the weight drop uncontrollably on the negative (eccentric movement). Not only does this release tension from the muscles and compromises results, but also it substantially increases the risk of bodily injury. By maintaining muscular control throughout both Phases of a movement, optimal benefits will be realized.

Finally, when you approach the starting point of the exercise, you should feel a complete stretch in the lats, and, without hesitation, should proceed to the next repetition by repeating the process. This will force the target muscle to remain under constant tension, assuring that your mind is focused on the movement. Keeping your mental focus in this way will direct the major of stress to the muscles of your back and maximize muscular stimulation.

In order to enhance your visualization technique, it is beneficial to utilize a technique referred to as “guided imagery” (Exercise Psychology, 1992). With this technique, you visualize the way you want muscles to look and then imagine them taking this form as you are training (Rusken, 1993). For instance, when working your abs, you should envision yourself with a well defined 6 pack, devoid of any body-fat. As you perform your set, visualize your mid-section becoming tighter and harder. With each repetition, try to make this image a reality, applying the same thought process to each muscle group that you train.

To enhance your sense of guided imagery, it can help to use a role model as a source of inspiration. This entailing visualizing the muscles of someone's physiques who you admire such a famous celebrity, bodybuilder or perhaps even someone who works out in your gym. You may, for example think of Arnold Schwarzenegger's biceps as you perform a set of standing curls. As you curl the weight, you should imagine your biceps looking like Arnold's growing to Olympian proportions. This type of association can have a motivational effect and allow you to become more in tune with your own body.

Finally, do not be discouraged if it takes longer to develop a mental link with certain muscles than with others. As a rule, it is easier to mentally connect with the muscles of the arms and legs than it is with those of the torso (ie back, chest, and abdominals) (Schoenfeld, B. 1998). Since your arms are used in all all exercises for the torso, a higher degree of mental attention is required to isolate these muscles. With a little practice and patience, you soon will be able to connect with all the muscles in your body.

If you want to achieve your ideal physique and maximize your body's potential, it is imperative that you develop a keen mind to muscle link. Once you have mastered this concept, you will definitely notice a big difference in the quality of your workouts. Training is a highly mental process and you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible simply by having a proper mental attitude.


Ruskan, J. (1993). Emotional Clearing: R. Wyler and Company. USA

Schoenfeld, B. (1998) Mind in Muscle:

Willis, JD and Campbell, LF (1992) Exercise Psychology: Human Kinetics: USA

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Kissing In A Dream Isn’t Always What You Think

We humans show our affection and love for one another, and our passion through a kiss. A kiss can soothe, calm and even magically heal-a child will feel all better after their boo-boo is kissed. In many cultures, but especially in Western cultures, a kiss is often the most intimate physical expression, sometimes considered more intimate even than sexual intercourse. It's pretty much common knowledge that prostitutes rarely kiss their clients on the mouth. This is because the kiss is recognized as a show of love and tenderness, and the services provided by a working girl (or guy) is little more than a business transaction.

In Christian societies, a kiss may also be an act of betrayal, such as the betrayal of Christ by the kiss of Judas. A kiss may also mark the beginning of the end of something, an action that marks the person or project's demise as in 'the kiss of death.' It also represents a goodbye, both temporary and permanent.

In fairy tales, kisses take on a much more complex, archetypal meaning. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were both revived by a kiss. A frog is magically transformed through the power of a kiss. In the fairy tale world the kiss is associated with rebirth; of either the physical, psychological or spiritual.

In dreams, kisses may be of the tender, loving, healing kind, the impassioned intimate kind or the complex archetypal kind. They may be symbols of transformation, rebirth, or the rekindling or ending of a relationship or project-a 'breath of new life' or 'the kiss of death' delivered through the lips.

In dreams, a kiss is not just a kiss. It has to be understood in context. Is the kiss a simple peck on the cheek from a relative? This type of kiss could signify a need for, or actual, approval from people in authority or parental figures. If you're shying away from or avoiding the kiss it might mean that you're feeling smothered by those in authority or you may feel that you're being made to feel childish. Are you kissing a child, an animal, an inanimate object? Perhaps this is a suggestion that some healing needs to take place, or that you need to welcome this new aspect, situation or character into your life.

Kissing someone with what you're involved can indicate either a desire for closeness if it's missing, or may be an expression of deep affection for that person even on a subconscious level.

Dreams of kissing someone of the same sex, if you're heterosexual, can indicate a need for self-love or may indicate approval of self. And again, may be suggestive of deep affection, plain and simple.

If you're kissing someone you're not attracted to, or if the kiss is unwanted or makes you feel uncomfortable, the dream may indicate feelings of betrayal as forced kissing is a violation; of intimidation, of choice, of boundaries and of your body. These are the kisses that indicate you're feeling overwhelmed or over-pressured by someone or something in your life. Look at who is involved in the kiss to provide a clue to who or what the situation is. But, this type of kiss may also be a clue to feeling victimized or bullied / forced into actions or actions you are against.

The long, hungry desired kiss may represent, in your dream, a longing for something. The longing may be for love and intimidation, but it can also express longing for something missing in other areas of your life. For example, if you dream of kissing an actor this may be a play on words. It can mean that you're longing for the ability to take action in some area of ​​your life.

If a kiss is given to an animal, this may suggest a longing to return to or recover your true, uninhibited and unstifled nature. These are just some possible meanings. As always, the context, words and characters must be taken into consideration.

Other Possible Meanings:

Kissing someone you like and want may simply be wish fulfillment.

Kissing a faceless person can be demonstrating that your basic desire / s is being met.

Kissing someone you know casually and not romantically may represent recognition of harmonious vibrations.

Kissing a celebrity may be suggesting that you need to, or are trying to boost your self-worth.

Kisses with adulterous passionate overtones may mean that it's time to spice up the romance.

Kissing is the start of passion for just about any age group. Whether it's young lovers stealing a kiss at the front door, or a mature married couple kissing tenderly on their 25th anniversary, a kiss is usually about love, passion and tenderness.

A kiss from a lover, under happy circumstances, presages happiness and contentment.

A kiss from a stranger poses an unexpected gift.

A kiss can represent affection, joy, coming success, or a wish to be close to someone.

An unwanted kiss may indicate upcoming overtures from someone you do not especially like or care for.

If you're kissing a close friend, then the suggestion may simply be a reminder of your respect and feelings for your friend. On the other hand, it may be implying that you're seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.

To dream that you're kissing someone's hand, signifies respect.

To see others kissing in your dream suggests that you are too involved in their personal lives and relationship. You need to give them some space.

In general, kissing is a token of affection and suggests warmth, happiness, appreciation, passion, tenderness and connection. However, there is always the negative connotations to consider. A kiss may be a last kiss, a kiss off, the kiss of death, a kiss goodbye, an unwanted advance or a means of spreading a contagion.

To determine what the kiss represents in a particular dream make note of who is involved in the kiss, where the kiss is taking place, how you (the dreamer) react to the kiss and the character, and what other elements are included in the dream . Also, make note of if the dream is primarily positive or negative.

By answering these questions, you should be able to determine what your kissing dream is trying to tell you.

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No Nonsense Guide to Worry Free Living

  • Why worry?
  • Can you do anything about it?
  • Stop and think.
  • Just stand there.

  1. Whether you are a Christian, Moslem or an Atheist, everyone worries. Some may not accept it, but you do. It is a natural part of getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. Disregard the fact that almost 90% of the things we worry about never come true we ALL worry. Just what is worry ? “To be anxious about something that has happened, or maybe happen or make somebody do this.” We sometimes worry about the economy, our job, our debts, illness, to either us or our family, or a thousand other things. No matter what you name it, it is worry.
  2. Question is can we do anything about it? Let me ask you a question – can you change anything about the situation worrying you? If the answer is yes, then make the changes and stop worrying. If the answer is no, whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and you can not change it, so stop worrying about it. Easy you say – not really, however; you CAN do it.
  3. When you go to bed, stop and think – what is the worst thing that can come from this? I can not pay my bill tomorrow – welcome to the club – millions of others are with you! Call the bank orom you owe the money. Explain your situation. 90% of the time, they will be glad to give you a reprieve, possibly even lower the interest, or accept a partial payment, or delay the payment. DO SOMETHING – do not close your eyes with worry, just do what you can and leave the consequences to the consequences. Will I go to jail if I do not pay the bill? Nope – no debtor's prison today. Will I die on the operating table tomorrow? If you can not change anything, your destination is in the surgeon's hands.
  4. Do not do something – stand there! Yes, it is a play on words, but there is a lot of truth in it. AL Williams , the leading insurance man once said; “When all you can do is all you can do then all you can do is enough.” When you have done everything you know to do, just wait it out.

Bottom line in all of this is the fact that you indubitably can not do that much to change your situation. When you have done all you can do, leave it in the hands of a higher power if you believe in one – if not, good luck!

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No Nonsense Approach to End Procrastination

The adage “Do not put off until tomorrow, what you can do today,” has been changed to “Do not do today what you can put off until tomorrow. are guilty to a certain extent. Here are some things we can do to change this:

  • Make a list.
  • Do it now.
  • Set limits.
  • Change the attitude.
  • Ask for help.

  1. The best way to avoid success is to procrastinate! I can guarantee your failure. The problem is not time management. Dr. Joseph Ferrari of De Paul University, Chicago says; “Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up.” With that said, one of the best ways to avoid procrastination is to create a “to do” list. Even with a list, there is no guarantee that you will succeed, but it certainly will help. It does not require an elaborate filing system, or an expensive computer program. A single yellow pad will work well.
  2. The only sure fire way of overcoming procrastination is to develop “doing it now.” When you look at your list and see an item “run the sweeper,” go get the sweeper and do it. Nearly 20% of the population admits that they procrastinate, yet few of them are doing anything about it. It is consistent.
  3. To overcome procrastination you are going to have to set limits . You have to set limits on the things you need to do. There are only 24 hours in a day, so you can not use them all. You have to use your checklist and arrange a time limit on each item on your list.
  4. It is going to need a change of attitude to overcome procrastination . You did not begin procrastination overnight, so you will not get it overnight. It is going to need a sustained and effective control of your attitude. It is not enough to tell yourself that you are going to do it. You must stop the “stinking thinking,” and begin to think differently. As I mentioned earlier if you want to guarantee failure in your life, just keep putting it off. I promise you it will not go away on its own.
  5. Many procrastinators are in so deep they simply can not help themselves. It may need counseling. It is possible that a friend who is willing to “kick butt” can solve the problem or from a family member who is willing to urge you into action.

Procrastination is a habit, just like a drug. Habits have to be broken before they can be fixed. You simply are going to have to start by changing your attitude, making a list of things to do and just start DOING them.

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No Nonsense Guide to Drinking

Every living creature needs water. Does this mean that humans are limited to only water? Find out in this article what to drink and what not to drink. You may be surprised by what you find.

  • Eight glasses a day.
  • A little wine for the stomach's sake.
  • Herbal drinks
  • Fizzy drinks
  • A strong Cuppa Joe

  1. Everyone knows it, but not everyone does it – drink eight glasses of water a day. As with food, the jury is still out. One doctor says eight minimum, another one says you do not require that much as too much can put pressure on your heart. Does coffee or tea count as water?
  2. The great Apostle Paul of the New Testament told Timothy to ” drink a little wine for the stomach's sake.” I am not advocating that you take up drinking if you do not drink, but if you are going to drink alcohol, watch what and how much you drink. If you do not drink alcohol, do not start! If you do, drink red wine in moderation (2 glasses a day maximum). The famous Mayo Clinic writes; “Antioxidants in red wine called polyphenols may help protect the lining of blood vessels in your heart. Mixed drinks often contain high amounts of sugar or salt. Avoid them and stick to red wine.
  3. Yes, there are ingredients and antioxidants in many of the herbal drinks. Green Tea has often been said to be the healthiest of drinks. If you appreciate a lovely cup of hot tea, do it. The problem comes when you start adding sugar or some of the sweeteners that have been proved unhealthy.
  4. Fizzy drinks have been proven to increase colon cancer by up to 12%. Dentists tell you that fizzy drinks can damage the enamel on your teeth. Soft drink consumption has more than doubled in the past decade. The average person now consumes over 25 gallons of carbonated drinks annually.
  5. Most doctors and dieticians agree that a cup of coffee can be a terrific “pick me up,” and can actually have beneficial health ingredients. The problem is the same as with tea when you start putting the sugar and sweeteners in.

Bottom line for all of his is, if you do not like it, you probably will not do it. Guzzling down eight glasses of water is not always easy to do. It must be spread out over the day. The same thing applies to a nice cup of coffee or tea. If you do not like it, you probably will not maintain it. We must keep the body hydrated, and if you feel thirsty, you are not hydrate. Enjoy the drink of your choice, but include water in your diet.

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Finding Balance in Your Life Through Simple Lifestyle Changes And Meditation

With modern-day living being so chaotic more and more people are seeking balance and harmony in their lives. The problem I see in many because is a lack of understanding of ones-self on a spiritual level and poor lifestyle choices.

So how do we reconnect with our inner-self? How do we find the right balance in our lives?

In order for us not to become a victim of modern-day life there are two key areas you need to focus on. Firstly our lifestyle, are we maintaining a balanced lifestyle? Secondly is reflection, are we in tune with our mind, are we at peace with ourselves on a mental level?


There are many areas of our “lifestyle” that we could strive to improve but for the purposes of this two article you should focus on. These are; maintaining a well balanced diet and engaging in exercise regularly.

Maintaining a well balanced diet

Eating properly is important for so many reasons and not just necessarily for physical health reasons. Of course it's important to maintain a balanced diet for physical health reasons but this one simple lifestyle change can improve your overall well-being tenfold.

For example ; it can help in relieving stress and anxiety, depression, fatigue and when the bodies properly nourished you'll generally feel more vibrant, energetic and better able to cope with your daily activities.

Regular Exercise

Exercise is likewise important for strengthening both the mind and body. Whenever we we engage in physical activity some of the bodies feel good chemicals go into over-drive such as serotonin and endorphin's. It's a natural way to build up the neural network and benefit from the abundance of good chemicals that the body produces on a daily basis.

It's important that you set a structured routine for your exercise activities also. Make it a daily habit! Even if you do not consider yourself to be physically fit then short strolls will do, whatever you can manage. As long as you make it a daily habit and stick to a routine.


“Reflection” is quite a broad word so what exactly do I mean by this? Basically self-reflection, to understand your desires, needs, positive / negative emotions and so on. But how do we achieve this?

Again there are many ways to connect with yourself on a defect level, usually techniques lending there-selves to “spirituality” offer the best solution. The following are two key areas that you should consider for balance and harmony in your life:


Meditating provides a great means for connecting with yourself on a degree level. It's important to understand that your external environment affects your thoughts, feelings and emotions!

Through meditation you're able to remove yourself from this external environment on a mental level and with regular practice you'll learn to mange and control your thoughts much better.

Much like regular exercise, learning to meditate will require a commitment, make it a daily habit even if only for a few minutes each day . Just find a nice quiet comfortable spot where you can quietly reflect, use breathing exercises and visual imagery techniques to help with your concentration and to help you get more from your meditation.


Gratitude is often referenced in the Law of Attraction and through Eastern philosophy. It basically means to be grateful for the blessings we have and to not become consumed by negative and needy emotions such as want, greed and gluttony.

The Western world in particular is especially guilty here, with “consumerism” and “materialism” being a way of life. It's important to remove yourself from this way of thinking and to show gratitude for the abundance of things you already have in your life, even those small trivial things we can take for granted such as the air to breathe or fresh, clean water to drink and our health.

Display gratitude on a daily basis, both for yourself and towards others. Doing so will empower with you feelings of positivity and joy and you'll enrich your life in many ways.

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Zimmerman: What Happens When Self-Contact and Self-Management Are Lacking

Two people meet – one of them is unable to manage his own impulses.

Caught up in his own unboundedness, he does not stop himself, and his grandiosity unfolds into an enactment that can not be taken back.

A wise person once told me that if one had to choose, it's far better to be the victim of another's injustice than to be the perpetrator.

Even though anyone who has lost a loved one unjustly knows that inconsolable pain, even though each of us who has experienced the victim side can choose to deeply ask, without self-punishment, “is there something I could have done differently,” the truth is that perpetrators have to live with what they've done.

So George Zimmerman will live for the rest of his life with the fact that when it mattered the most, he was incapable of self-contact , nor had he developed self-management.

Self-contact gives birth to empathy . With empathy, we step outside our own point of view and walk in the shoes of others. Self-management plants the seeds for maturity . This ability gives us the capacity to wait, to delay gratification, to act in ways that are far more likely to lead to satisfaction.

Together, they form a conversation of containment, rather than the chaos he chose to instigate by refusing to follow the boundaries made by those with greater expertise. Together, they say, “Oh, what is this situation, I recognize that I'm afraid and this affects my judgment. wait for support. ”

Trayvon Martin's parents encourage us in more promising directions, to have faith in the universal life force that holds us all, and yet to also take appropriate action, in the words of their attorney, to “make sure that this does not happen to anyone else's child. ”

Although most of us do not create Zimmerman's kind of destruction, do not we all have something of him inside us, as well as something of Trayvon Martin? This could be a time for us to reflect on our own missed opportunities – the times we acted out of fear or panic or anger or some other flooding, and harmed ourselves and others; the times we were powerless to stop someone from actions that threatened us both.

As I consider this, I am emboldened to continue growing my own capacity for self-contact, and as best as I can in each day to manage myself in a way that is life-affirming.

If you choose to respond, please honor this intention.

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Simplicity Is The Ultimate Sophistication – From the SME Adviser

This is a time of extraordinary change. Change is always with us, but this is spectacular. Among the highlights, China is in the ascendant, and the USA in decline. There is an exponential growth in world population, which is aging fast. There are environmental battles, public finances out of control, dysfunctional governments. There are computers everywhere you turn and the information age overshadows everything we do. Islam is on the move again.

Change makes for complexity, and we, the pawns, are in the middle of it all.

There is social / lifestyle upheaval. Old values ​​are changing. And like it or not, none of us can go back.

These must be exceptional times.

Coping with all this without a sense of control is stressful, if we can not get our bearings straight.

New Villains on the block

Continuous change has always been with us. That said things have moved on and entirely new villains have appeared on stage in the last 25 years – there is a raft of new “stuff” on the agenda for most of us.

Topping the list is the information explosion. After 2 million years our race is swamped by the Information age, including a daily tsunami of details to surf through, sign off or ignore, creating a “lifestyle” taking us away from our biological origin. Our limited memory becomes flooded with stuff – mostly useless.


To deal with all this there is a need for a code to live by, values ​​which means something, and a way to manage time effectively.

Unfortunately life never came with an instruction book. In most cases the family can not help, nor can religion. Here are a few suggestions.

Develop your philosophy

For a start by try reading Ecclesiastes, Buddha, Aurelius and other sages and what they have to say about the simple life.

· Not for you ?! Seriously, getting a perspective is important! Try researching practical systems, not religious dogma

· And then bring things up to date with the advances in the last 300 years. Because if there is one thing for sure, we do now know a heck of a lot more than these “gurus” ever did about the real world, everything in it, and outside it. Face it – the old beliefs were all guesswork when it comes to medicine, astronomy, etc, we have immeasurably more knowledge now.

We suggest finding out what works for you. Start “Finding Your Own Light”.

Nine tenths of wisdom consistants of being wise in time (Theodore Roosevelt)

Philosophy is well and good, even vital, but time is what we have to manage in daily life.

Managing our time is so much easier said than done, but few would doubt that it is one of modern life's biggest challenges in the “advanced” countries. Simplifying and improving the way we spend time is one of the most important skills needed to navigate through the 2010's.

· Observe your perception of time passing – time is a psychological trick. This is our opinion based on experience and we can use the idea to advantage by selective clock watching. If we know those times – lazy weekends sometimes, or the end of a working day – when time is guaranteed to slip without watched like a hawk, we can prepare for it and decide to get results instead

· Balance time and goals. Focus is the key – we all have the same number of hours per day, even the president of the USA. It's a matter of developing skills in prioritizing our efforts, combined with a sense of what really matters

· Use the time. “If you can make the unforgiving minute count …” Kipling was right. But the problem is that we are not computers, not machines. Part of the trick is to allocate block times and objectives within; then stand back a little in order to achieve a kind of “relaxed intensity”

· Time and stress. Meaningless deadlines, meaningless data and information, meaningless peer pressure, it's enough to make you run for a cave and meditation. Pushback is a good concept. Try applying it to the workplace first.

· Time wasters. There are so many it's difficult to know where to start the list, or end. Prime culprits although do include emails, updates to this and that, unwanted calls, drop in visitors, and your own procrastination. Often they are requirements for action for no good reason, sourced from somewhere out there not under your control. A liberal use of a psychological “delete” button is perhaps a good start, though it comes at a price – for example we all know how annoying it is to call someone who just leaves ALL calls to voicemail. Sometimes a better start is to cut the noise off at source – get all unwanted newsletters, mailing lists and whatnot out of your life and put polite ends to go-nowhere email trails.


Here are six points to achieving balance, wealth, and health without crumpling:

1. Put your philosophy on steroids – understand the world and our place in it

2. Dont sweat the small stuff – and it's all small stuff

3. Strengthen your body

4. Put relationships in their place

5. Study business and particular marketing

Get yourself a residual cash flow

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No Nonsense Body Cell Renewal

There are over 45 trillion cells in the human body. Every day of one's life, the human body, renews over 300,000 billion cells! What can one do to restore one's life? Here are just some of the things.

  • Sleep
  • Water
  • Food
  • Exercise
  • Attitude

  1. One of the most powerful and often overlooked ways of restoration is the obligation of sleep – peaceful, restful sleep . Preferably, eight hours, six at the least. Ingredients for a healthy night's sleep are:
    • A totally dark room.
    • A comfortable mattress.
    • Low volume “white noise,” from a radio or a sound machine.
    • No heavy meals before retiring – preferably, NO food for at least 2 hours.

    This may not always be possible, but get as close to these ingredients as possible. The adage is still true – “Early to bed, early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise.” Try it – you will love it!

  2. We all know it, but few do it. Eight glasses of wate r a day. Wate r is essential to life. Every living thing requires it, from humans to a blade of grass. If one drinks a glass with each meal, then one every 2 to 3 hours, one will find it relatively simple and actually, enjoyable. Soft drinks do not cut it! Coffee can count, but nothing compares with a glass of pure water.
  3. Like water, food is not only necessary to survival but is enjoyable. The issue is what kind of food? Healthy, is the usual reply, but what is healthy? It all depends on who is doing the talking. Some argument that only a vegetarian diet is healthy. There are strong advocates for “organic” food. The advocates for the “gluten free” diet add one should not even use wheat products. Who is right? Whatever works for you is what is right. It is far better avoiding fast foods whenever possible as they usually contain high levels of fat and sodium. Other than that, one just has to do what works for them – just that simple.
  4. Exercise in ANY form is acceptable. If one walks a mile a day for a minimum of three days a week, that is considered exercise. A sedate life brings a uneventful life. If one is able to ride a bike, do some weightlifting or jogging, not only will one feel much better, one will be much healthier.
  5. Attitude can be as healthy or as harmful as one allows it to be. “Stinking thinking” brings a foul smell to one's life. A positive attitude about life will go a long way in producing a healthy body. A negative attitude can do as much damage to the body as improper eating. Watch what you think about and how you think about it.

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Who Am I? What Do I Want?

Yes folks, it is that time of year again – out with the old unfit body and in with the new leaner, healthy you …
… err, we would like to apologise for that interference and will shortly be returning to planet reality. What happens to our brains at the start of each January – is this how the turkey population get their revenge for our festive traditions (hey guys – let's eat these mushrooms instead of our grain / each other / our-bi products)? It is more like goodbye old you, hello new incarnation, which will stay for however many days it takes us to crack and go for a session in the post-Christmas munchy filled fridge, where the 'new you' sufferers the same fate as Mad Cousin Barb's mince pies. It is almost as bad as claiming to have quit smoking but managing only 8 hours (during which time you were sleep of course).

We start of with so many good intentions, read so many 'How to get the body you always dreamed of (but will never achieve without a fat wallet and a good surgeon)' articles but for most of us, our enthusiasm fizzles out quicker than a firework in a snowstorm. Forget looking into the mirror and with a steely expression, chanting motivational mantras through scratched teeth, fronting up to your size 8 bikini vowing that this year it will no longer be a beach virgin. You need to do something to break the cycle and take a different approach to the situation as jokes side, this is serious stuff. You can not hide your body at home in the wardrobe next to your size 8 swimwear. Your self-image is there all the time – in the shower, in front of the mirror, reflected in shop windows and distorted in your mind as a mobile tub of lard with a few limbs and a head sticking out for feeding purposes. We can not really offer a concrete explanation as to why we want a better body but nonetheless, we cling onto the belief that our own-image problems will be rectified once the ideal shape is obtained. This is made harder by the fact that those in the public eye who take up so many column inches in our newspapers and magazines, provide us (willingly or not) with the system for acceptance by others. And what a reference system it is – size 6 females splashed across the media in glorious technicolour, looking to look grossly underweight but held up as our role models all the same, feeding us the message that the thinner you are, the more attractive are perceived to be. Lasch (1979, p21) notes that celebrities give substance to and thus intensify narcissistic dreams of fame and glory by encouraging the common (individual) to identify with the stars needs and desires to the detriment of their own.

Is this right?

Is social self-image the new driving force of our identity in the 21st Century or do we as consumers still have control of our identity, our wants and our needs?

We all know the statistics – (for example, 67% of fifth to twelfth grade frequent readers of fashion magazines questioned in a Harvard study, were more likely to diet or exercise to lose weight, although only 29% were actually considered overweight (Fox, 1997). Of course it is not only through printed media that we gain our role models – television, the pop industry etc also play a huge part in shaping our perception of the body beautiful. So do such statistics mean that we should all succumb to the social pressure and social construction of self-image and punish ourselves in an effort to achieve promised perfection? Clearly this is not an ideal solution for obvious health reasons (both physical and psychological) which all of us are familiar with (but which strangely, we only apply to other people rather than ourselves). What then if there was a way to break the strong hold – what if step by step we could penetrate the social cloud that covers our identity to reveal who we really are?

Rather than leaving you with that thought to ponder, I will instead propose that you already have the answer and that you will find it staying in the re-discovery of the one fundamental notice that has been forgotten in the hysteria of social self-image – who are we and what really matters to us? As Mark Twain said “I can teach anyone how to get what they want out of life.” The problem is that I can not find anyone who can tell me vividly what it is “ ( .asp? author = Mark + Twain ).

Whilst we might not be able to achieve a crystal clear image of exactly who we are, we can certainly take steps toward being more self aware about who the real you is. No, I do not want you to pack your bags and head of to some hippy retreat in the hills for a few weeks, just follow the steps below and forget the answers to breaking the cycle yourself (and maybe the turkeys will not win this year).

The 'Who Are You?' Plan

Step 1: You must discover 'who you are' and 'what you want'. Spend time and analyze your own intrinsic needs and wants and then match these needs and desires to your future goals.

Wants and Needs

Each person (as identified by Psychologists) has five basic needs:

  • Survival needs (food, warmth, shelter),

love and belonging needs (acceptance by loved ones),
power needs (to control over your life),

  • fun needs (awareness of activities, things you enjoy)

freedom needs (making choices) (Healey, K 1994).

With this in mind, grab yourself a pen and something to write on (an arm or leg will do if paper is not available) and make two lists, one detailing the needs and wants you want to set for yourself in firstly two years time and second, in five years time. For example, in two years time, I want to participate in two fun runs, have finished a short course, purchased a new car and found myself a life partner to share my life with. As you write down your needs and wants, rate each one on a scale of importance from 1-10 (10 being very important to you, 1 being not that important to you).

Future Goals

Once you have done this, write down your future goals for the following two and five years. By this I mean the things you will automatically state if for example, you were put on the spot by someone. Do not limit yourself to what you feel you're capable of achieving – extend yourself, even if you feel you are being really unrealistic – they are your goals.

Completing Step 1

Now compare your wants and needs lists with your future goals lists – you should find that many of the items will correlate. Mark these off and rate them on another scale of importance as we did earlier (discard any single items as they are probably less intrinsic wants, needs or goals in your life at the moment). This will clarify in your conscious mind what your subconscious already knows as being the things that really matter to you. If you find that none of the items match in your list then congratulations! You have achieved everything that you want from life and are now smugly waiting to die. Alternately, you need to untangle the confusion in your head and give yourself some space to think (in which case I take back what I said about the hippy retreat – get packing and try step 1 again upon your return).

Step 2: Create a vision of how you plan to achieve your goals and how you see yourself once you have succeeded

It is important that you try to understand what reaching your goals will be like in order to create the motivation and leverage (a catalyst which brings about change) necessary to achieve them. To do this, stop and imagine how all aspects of your life will be once you have succeeded. Place yourself there and notice how you react, feel and think. Imagine how other people might see you (you will need to spend time doing this in a peaceful environment where you are not distracted). Once you have done this, write down in as much detail as you can the main feelings which stick in your mind. This will help to motivate you when you begin taking practical steps to realizing your goals.

Step 3: Make a conscious decision about each of your actions and communicate them to someone for protection (you can confide in more than one person of course).

For example, if losing weight rated highly in step 1, decide right now by writing a time scale and plan of how you expect to achieve this weight loss. This plan does not have to be detailed as you will improve on it as we advance in the steps (but it must be realistic). Whilst writing this plan, combine it with your vision from step 2 and communicate it to a significant other so they can provide the motivation you need to succeed.

Step 4: Gather information on how you expect to achieve this vision and plan

Involves grounding yourvision and plan by researching and gathering information to support it. For example, to lose 10 kilograms, I would need to research the types of foods I will have to eat, the exercise program I will have to do, the equipment I would need to buy etc. It is also a good time to find someone who has had success previously and model yourself on their success. Talk to them and ask them how they did it? If you do not know someone, then pick up a book, access the internet or read a magazine as there are thousands of testimonials out of their people who have achieved their goals. Once you have done this, add this information into your plan.

Step 5: Take immediate action on your new detailed plan

You never leave the site of setting a goal until you take action '(Robbins, 1998).

This will be the toughest step that you will have to face, as the pressure of old habits and beliefs will rear up inside you and create fear and doubt within you. It is important to remember that for every positive move you make your new plan, you alter the neurological connections with your old habits and beliefs. It may only be a small alteration when you first start, but remember through continuous repetition you will ever sever the connection to old beliefs and habits and create a new path-way of thinking and acting.

Finally …

The key through this whole process is Step 5 Action. If in your current state you do not like your self-image then it is time to make that commitment to change. Every minute that you waste in your current state, creates stronger neural connections which is supporting your current actions. Do not be 'sucked in' any longer to social self-image; once you have a detailed plan of who you are and what really matters, opportunities will emerge as your focus will now be more attuned to your personal success.

It is important to realize that people who are affected by social self-image do not have a detailed plan of who they are and what matters to them. They use societies ever-changing and at time unrealistic standards as their personal goals and dreams for happiness.


Fox, K. (1997) The Physical Self. USA: Braun-Brumfield Publishing

Healey, K. (1994) The Body Beautiful. Vol 24 Australia: The Spinney Press

Lasch, C. (1979) The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in a Age of Diminishing Expectations: New York.

Robbins, A. (1998) Unlimited Power – Nightingale Tapes: USA. Zygmo.

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No Nonsense Boundaries

Every living thing has boundaries. Boundaries can be beneficial or poor, but everyone needs boundaries. A boundary can be a fence, a wall, or anything that limits movement. Even a blade of grass has a boundary, be it a solid wall or weed killer. Every individual needs to have boundaries in their lives. Here are some examples:

  • Food
  • Sex
  • Authority
  • Property
  • Employee

  1. Sadly, many people do not have any boundaries in this area! I have watched people go through buffet lines with their plates stacked high. They do not seem to realize that all that food is extending their physical boundaries! My doctor told me to put on my plate any kind of food I love, then take half of it and give to my wife. Portion control – boundaries. We must learn to live with food boundaries. It is referred to as “portion control.” It is not just the calories that hurt but also the AMOUNT. Therefore, the need comes for food boundaries.
  2. This is a place where many of us get into serious trouble because we do not have any boundaries on our sex lives. I am not quoting the Bible, pointing my finger at you, or condemning you for your moral values. You need to have boundaries on your sex life for your own health. It is not rocket science that sexually transmitted diseases are there. Unless you set some boundaries, the law of benefits is going to catch up with you. The adage “if it feels good, do it,” does not apply in this realm. It has been said that if no one gets hurt, it is OK. It is NOT OK, and someone is going to get hurt. Set some borders and stick to them.
  3. One of the boundaries that many of us ignore is the authority boundary. If you continually break the speed limit or traffic laws, you will soon find yourself dealing with authority, and it may not be pleasant.
  4. The property boundary is one that you had better respect. If you do not respect your neighbor's property, you can have a showdown at best, and at worst, you could be shot! If someone drives off in your car, I can only assume that you would think that, a violation of your property boundary.
  5. All employees have boundaries. If you have a boss, you had better identify their boundaries and do what they tell you, not what you want to do. If you have a job or area of ​​responsibility, it would be far better for you to do only what you have been assigned to do.

It is essential that all of us know and respect the boundaries of life. Recognize and adhere to them and you will have a much healthier and satisfying life. Ignore them and you are going to pay.

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An Insight Into The Dynamics Of Chakra Healing

Chakra is a Sanskrit word that means “wheel”. It is that the wheel on which the axis of life stays. It is the center of vital forces and energy flows from these points and assists in regulating the thoughts and streamlining the ideas and movements.

As per beliefs and studies, there are seven different chakras in our body and all of them are vital energy sources. If you can have a sound and thorough understanding of the chakras and their effects, you can heal your body and channel positive flow of energy.

Root Chakra

It is located near the tailbone area just benefit the spine. This chakra is related with our roots and helps us in staying grounded. By focusing on the energy in this chakra; you can improve your financial independence and even relationships with family members. If you can find the best exercises that can help in enhancing the streamlined flow of energy in root chakra, you are likely to feel better.

Sacral Chakra

It is located in the lower abdomen region. This chakra is related with the energy related to new experiences and even the way we connect with other people. There are records that this chakra has effect on a person's sexuality as well.

Here, by keeping the energy flow uniform and steady, one would be able to enjoy the new experiences and it can help in staying composed. If this chakra is not balanced, one can suffer from hormonal imbalance. Even the creativity of a person is linked with the sacral chakra.

Solar Plexus Chakra

It is located near the upper abdomen and is one of the most vital chakra. It is directly related with the confidence of an individual and can help in controlling the lives of an individual too. Blockage in this chakra is extremely common and so one should try to foster positive thoughts and channel the right energy form.

All those who are low on self-esteem and confidence need to work on solar plexus chakra as energy blockage in this region can lead to depressing thoughts and troubled times.

Heart Chakra

Naturally this chakra is located just above the heart. This chakra is related with the ability to love. It is one of the core centers that help in fostering the spirit of love. You should try to block all thoughts and visualize a white light that slowly spreads from your chest to all other body parts. Doing this exercise can help in expanding the positive energy from this chakra and it can help you in feeling the sentiments of love, care and affection.

Throat Chakra

This is located in the throat and the chakra deals with the ability to communicate with others and spread ideas. This chakra has a lot to do with imagination and taking the right decisions. In order to enjoy the healing benefits of the chakra, try to work on your confidence and speak up your ideas. You should let your imagination run wild and come up with exciting ideas and terminologies.

Blockage in this chakra can lead to stunted imagination and make someone extremely introvert.

Third Eye Chakra Or The Brow Chakra

This chakra is located in the forehead in the space between the two eyes and is hence so named. This chakra is related with imagination and intuition. It is the ability to look deep into the matter and take the right decisions.

You should try to focus on a single point and let light emanate from the point. Doing this exercise can help in improving the energy flow in the chakra and help in decision-making. It can also foster the art of sixth sense.

Crown Chakra

It is located at the top of the head and is one of the prime positions. It deals with spirituality and being able to master the thoughts and energy in the rest of your mind. This chakra is a realization that we are all forms of energy.

In order to improve the healing effects, you should try to envision a white ball of raw energy and let the ball envelop all parts of you. The flow of positive energy is likely to give you the ability to connect with the spiritual self and can lead to divinity and peace.

Here, these are the seven vital points of life and they are energy vessels. It is the positive balance of energy that will help you in being at peace with the inner mind. When all the chakras are balanced, you will be able to get rid of different type of illness and troubles. So, an understanding of the functioning and placement of chakras can help in streamlining the flow of thoughts and energy.

Chakra healing is one of the finest forms of keeping your thoughts and ideas in tandem with the universe.

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